Entitled? Give me a fucking break

25th May 2014

If you frequent my twitter account, you may notice the increasing amount of tweets and retweets I have been making over the past few months in relation to women in tech, women's rights and sexism in general. I have wanted to put some thoughts down for a while and I guess tonight finally pushed me to do just that.

About 20 minutes prior to starting this post I read about the shooting in California, involving some guy that thought he was entitled to a woman's body. Sorry, no. Just no


I won't give the guy the satisfaction of having his name appear anywhere on this page, he doesn't deserve it. If you want to know more, look up the news to see the details. I watched the final Youtube video he recorded and uploaded, the whole thing and it made me sick to the point I was nearly physically sick. Again, I will leave that up to you if you wish to seek out and watch it.

Do you know what the rally scary thing about the video is though? It's the fact that I could identify with some of the things he was saying (hear me out here please):

  • I was a bit of a loner at school. Sure I had friends, but I was always picked on, laughed at and bullied
  • I was rejected on every advancement I made as a kid to the point I was scared to make any sort of conversation with a girl in my late teens. I hid myself away
  • I watched countless times as the ones I cared for glanced right over me to the person that would end up hurting them over and over
But you know what? Not once did I EVER think that I was entitled to a woman's body. Not once did I think they had no right to reject me. Sure I felt upset, sometimes angry, but you can't force someone to like you never mind love you. It's their choice, not yours. Finally, not once did I or would I ever have picked up a gun a shot a bunch of people, because girls wouldn't have sex with me. What the fuck!?

I'm not afraid to put this out there, I was a virgin myself until I was 22. I see no shame in that and I don't understand what the big deal is about losing this so-called 'virginity'.

This shit needs to stop. The struggle woman have gone through to secure even the most basic of rights, to bring themselves up to a level of equality of men, I can't even begin to describe. I never knew how bad things actually were until I met my fiancee. She really opened up my eyes to what was going on and it horrifies me.

How in this day and age, when we are supposed to have evolved as a species, do we still think of women as property that can be dealt with as a man pleases? You have no right to a woman's body anymore than she has the right to yours. You think you are 'entitled' to sex, women who say no are 'sluts' and 'begging' for it. Enough. This shit has got to fucking stop. I have more respect for women than I will EVER have for man.

I want my nephew and kids to grow up in a world were they will respect a person no matter what skin color or chromosome they have have.

I searched around for a while after writing this to see what other people were saying and i came across a post on Medium that pretty much says everything I haven't or couldn't, you should have a read: "Misogyny Is Poison, And You’re Drinking It" by @j_zimms.

My fiance, @duckiedannie, started an amazing blog during her time in Uni called "Feminism for Art" - used in part for some of her projects. She keeps it up to date and is definitely worth a read through.

I'll be honest and say I never proof read this post. I thought as I wrote and then posted. I'm tired and I'm angry and fed up of reading about women being treated like shit. I'm going to sleep.


Addendum:

So it's now the following morning and I have awoken to the explosion of the #YesAllWomen hashtag on twitter. I wish I could go through and re-tweet every single tweet. Our society is one of scapegoats - whatever excuse we can come up with to shift the blame. Video games? The music we listen to? Films? The fucking books we read? No they are not the problem - YOU are. Telling a woman it's her fault she was raped. Fuck off. Are you even listening to the words coming out of your mouth when you say that? How can you not understand how wrong that is?

We should be teaching men that it's not ok rape, that they are not entitled to a woman's body. We should not be teaching women how they can avoid being raped. We should not be using alcohol as a scapegoat - it becomes his excuse and her condemnation. I can't pretend to know what it's like for a woman, but I've read and seen enough to get the picture.

My faith in humanity grows weaker and weaker every day. If you really can't see what is going on in your own back door, just read through some of the tweets from the #YesAllWomen hashtag. Maybe then you might understand.

I'm a feminist, I'm proud to say that I am standing up for what is right. You got something to say about that?

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